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  • Writer's pictureJenny Vaz, COO & Co-Founder

You Can Leave

When we're caught in a cycle of abuse, we are often led to believe that we cannot leave. The truth is we can leave. Not only can we leave and Thrive too!

I remember an ex telling me that I wouldn't amount to much and that no man would want me should I leave him. That I was a used good, no value. It was easy to buy into the lie especially when it was repeated to me ever so often. I found myself wondering if he was right. What did I do wrong to incur his wrath? The classical questions - we get so abuser-focused which is what they want and neglect ourselves. But I knew that I was happier before I met him too. I was better off. And I found myself choosing to believe that he was wrong and that I would find evidence to the opposite of what he shared.

When I speak to those of us who have been caught in such a cycle of abuse and lies, this is a common trait in the abusers - the spinning of false stories. They are so determined to keep us convinced in the narrative that they are always right. I was fortunate enough to have walked away with the support of two allies when I was in university. But it's tough when you're only listening to one channel - the abuser.

If you find yourself reading this, know that you can leave.

1) Countless others have left before you.

2) No matter how complicated the situation is, keep seeking a path out.

3) Listen to a different channel or song in your head that tells you that are worth more than you're given credit for. Listen to it repeatedly.

4) This bit is important - if we pay attention to the things that are wrong in us, it erodes our self-worth. Focus on what's right with you - what you know from your past. How you survived all odds. How you overcame every curveball and speed bump. Way before you met him, they or her.

Keep telling yourself, "I Can Leave."

Listen to THAT voice!


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